Friday, October 13
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
One day Adam and Eve notice God... One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before them, holding a bag
"Hi, God. What's in the bag?" asked Eve.
"These are a couple of things that were left over from creation that I thought you two would be interested in." God rummages around in the bag a moment. "Okay who wants to be able to pee standing up?"
Adam immediately puts his hand up in the air, waving frantically. "Me! Me! Me! Oh, oh, PLEASE, God, let me have it! Just think of how much more work I could get done in the fields if I could pee standing up! And it would help so much when I'm out hunting! Oh, please, please, please let me have it!"
"Well, all right," says God. "Now, let's see what we have for you, Eve." God rummages about a bit more in the bag.
"Ah, right. Multiple orgasms."
"These are a couple of things that were left over from creation that I thought you two would be interested in." God rummages around in the bag a moment. "Okay who wants to be able to pee standing up?"
Adam immediately puts his hand up in the air, waving frantically. "Me! Me! Me! Oh, oh, PLEASE, God, let me have it! Just think of how much more work I could get done in the fields if I could pee standing up! And it would help so much when I'm out hunting! Oh, please, please, please let me have it!"
"Well, all right," says God. "Now, let's see what we have for you, Eve." God rummages about a bit more in the bag.
"Ah, right. Multiple orgasms."
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
Chelsea Handler: Guys With One Ball
I love how people talk about one ball like
it's a bad thing. It's like, we've all seen them, ladies. The less balls
the better. How about no balls?
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
just joking
A Math Professor's Mistake
A college math professor and his wife are
both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from
her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there
are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my
20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
A Lesson In Morals
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched."
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't f**k with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
THE BLACK CONDOM
The Black Condom
A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a
little action and he goes up to the house owner and asks,“Hey, can I
get a piece from one of your fine ladies you've got here?” “Sorry sir,”
the owner responds, “but, we're all full.” “Aw, please I really need
some poon tang!” And the owner awnswers, “Well, there is one girl left
but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom.”
“Whatever,” the man answers quickly and races upstairs.
A few hours later the man comes down and says ''Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?” And the owner answers, “Respect for the dead.”
BY Antony Maina
A few hours later the man comes down and says ''Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?” And the owner answers, “Respect for the dead.”
BY Antony Maina
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
complicated breasts
Complicated Breasts
I was walking with my friend who gets
harassed a lot, because she has these huge tits. She has the kind of
tits that men need time with, like they have questions. They need help
processing them.
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
unconditionally
Antony Maina: Loving Parents
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
"Damu nyeusi'
Uchambuzi wa Damu Nyeusi na Hadithi Nyingine
Uchambuzi wa Damu Nyeusi na Hadithi Nyingine
Category :
Fasihi
Author :
Walubengo Mendi
ISBN :
978 9966 345 92 9
275.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Research has shown that students understand better when
learning is enjoyable, task oriented and fun-filled. The Secondary
Breakthrough Workbooks are written by practicing teachers who have vast
experience in successfully preparing students for exams
Key Features;
Key Features;
- Packed with curriculum exercises that cover the syllabus with pinpoint accuracy and exhaustiveness thus guaranteeing success in exams
- Has fact-checks offering platform where students can confirm facts they often confuse on various concepts
- Can be used both at home and in classrooms; giving parents, teachers and students a forum to interact for better reinforcement of essential skills learners need to succeed.
- Provides unique exercises to stimulate learners to think and come up with real solutions to problems
- Offers students a unique opportunity to work independently as they can answer questions and mark their own work using the answers given at the end of each book.
Other Products
Adili na Nduguze
Category :
Kiswahili Fasihi
Author :
Shabaan Robert
ISBN :
978 9966 344 08 3
395.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Ndoto ya Almasi
Category :
Kiswahili Fasihi
Author :
Ken Walibora
ISBN :
978 9966 342 32 4
395.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Hekaya za Abunuwas na Hadithi Nyingine
Category :
Fasihi,Kiswahili,Kiswahili Fasihi
Author :
Broomfield
ISBN :
978 9966 344 42 7
395.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Hekaya za Hekima
Category :
Fasihi,Kiswahili,Kiswahili Fasihi
Author :
Jamil Al Jabry
ISBN :
978 9966 347 98 5
295.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Uchambuzi wa Kidagaa Kimemwozea
Category :
Fasihi
Author :
Walubengo Mendi
ISBN :
978 9966 346 69 8
240.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Mwongozo wa Utengano
Category :
Fasihi
Author :
Moran EA
ISBN :
978 9966 432 77 X
235.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Damu Nyeusi na Hadithi Nyingine – Toleo la Shule
Category :
Fasihi
Author :
Mohammed & Walibora
ISBN :
978 9966 344 85 4
410.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Ndoto ya Almasi
Category :
Fasihi
Author :
Walibora
ISBN :
978 9966 342 22 32
250.00 Ksh
(Price Subject to 16% VAT)
Information for
AUTHORS
Publish with us
BOOKSELLERS
Links to Textbook Centre, Gabby Books etc.
SOCIETIES
Publishing services for partners
Our Partners
I had a 347 on my kcpe.
I got a 64 on my kcse
And I had a pretty good GPA from campus.
I thought I had my life mapped out.
But then I remembered
what my Nonlinear Equations professor
once told me,
"Always account for variable change."
I let down my good friends.
But as it turns out,
they weren't too bad at simple math either.
I scored the prettiest girl in school.
I got beaten down
by an old thika ghettoh thug
who was having trouble
accepting his retirement.
But I worked out a deal with him
that got him a nice pension.
And I lied to my mother.
But I confessed the lie,
and, well, she still loved me.
So my senior year of college,
I joined this team.
And I learned this new skill.
I went to Nairobi 17 times to use it.
I made hundreds of thousands of dollars
counting cards.
And then I had it all stolen from me.
Twice.
i am a survivor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Mesut Ozil is no longer central to Arsenal and his contract offer should reflect that
He believes that a subsequent reluctance to recount from fixed positions in this ever-changing landscape can lead to unfair and facile conclusions. He sometimes has a point – perhaps in relation to his own position - but this logic must also apply internally to his players and the decisions that a club makes.
What is right at one stage in a team’s history and development might become very wrong even just a few months later.
Which brings us to the curious case of Mesut Ozil. A player who arrived as the club’s record signing four years ago with that elusive ‘world class’ label firmly attached. A player...
Start your free trial of Premium
Free for 30 days
then only £2 per week
Get one year of Premium and Amazon Prime
£100 for 12 months
Amazon Prime offer available in the UK only
Access one Premium article per week